Ranking the Films of 2023: Part One
Who knew saying “no” would prove so powerful?
After swearing off the Avatar and Scream series in 2022 (at least until they receive new masters), I found it easier to resist the latest Shazam, Equalizer, Transformers, Saw, Expendables, and The Nun movies; Kenneth Branagh’s third (?!?) Poirot adaptation; various suspect-looking animation efforts (Migration; Ruby Gillman: Teenage Kraken); plus whatever the hell Zack Snyder was doing on Netflix.
No trusted sources came running to these bums’ defenses, so the shunning truly felt vindicated and allowed me to catch up on a wealth of film blindspots — and some prestige TV, including finally finishing The Sopranos. (Mad Men remains #1, followed by The Wire and Curb Your Enthusiasm and Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad and…well, you get the point.)
So, yes, I only totaled 157 new releases — a fresh all-time low! And the second consecutive year that I’ve dropped by 14. My overall totals, however, are at 364 films viewed, up 37 from 2022. But as for those 2023 titles, they’re all here, sorted into three groups, presented numerically from worst to best, and will be rolled out one installment per day this week until we reach #1.
Please rate me on the crazy scale from 1 to 157 and, as always, thanks for reading.
157. Skinamarink
156. Bottoms
155. Hypnotic
154. Sweetwater
153. Fool’s Paradise
152. The Boys in the Boat
151. Meg 2: The Trench
150. Silent Night
149. The Exorcist: Believer
148. Cocaine Bear
147. Marlowe
Marlowe (Briarcliff Entertainment)
146. Consecration
145. Insidious: The Red Door
144. The Marsh King’s Daughter
143. Golda
142. 65
141. M3GAN
140. Knock at the Cabin
139. No One Will Save You
No One Will Save You (20th Century Studios)
138. Retribution
137. The Pope’s Exorcist
136. The Last Voyage of the Demeter
135. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom
134. The Beanie Bubble
133. The Super Mario Bros. Movie
132. The Zone of Interest
131. Wish
130. Priscilla
129. The Color Purple
128. The Good Mother
127. Breakwater
126. Missing
125. Maybe I Do
124. Chevalier
Chevalier (Searchlight Pictures)
123. The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes
122. Five Nights at Freddy’s
121. Blue Beetle
120. Ghosted
119. Mission: Impossible — Dead Reckoning Part One
118. Showing Up
117. Next Goal Wins
116. Talk to Me
115. Sanctuary
114. Fast X
113. The Creator
112. A Biltmore Christmas
A Biltmore Christmas (Hallmark Channel)
111. Polite Society
110. Champions
109. Plane
108. Your Place or Mine
107. The Teachers’ Lounge
106. Smoking Causes Coughing
105. The League
104. It AIn’t Over
103. Elemental
102. Nyad
101. Guy Ritchie’s The Covenant
(Photo: IFC Films)
